That amounts to the steepest quarterly fall since 1980, and it comes on the heels of an earlier 0.6 per cent dip. Economists say all the criteria for a recession have now been met.
And while that undoubtedly spells doom for consumers, pundits fear it could also herald the return of the long-gone era of Looney Tune politics.
"Every recession in the last sixty years in Britain has been caused by inflation and has been domestically generated," he remarked in a curious Mexican accent, whilst wearing an oversized yellow Sombrero.
"This is a completely different kind of event," the PM purred. "This resulted from a [cue finger quotation] global banking crisis [end quotation]."
But Speedy Gordanez's critics - who had been furiously circling Broadcasting House since the interview began - were quick to aim their fire at him.
"The Tory party have consistently warned that Gordon Brown failed to see the boom and to prepare for the bust," hollered shadow chancellor George Osborne, before lighting the fuse of a crudely drawn Looney Tunes canon.
Earlier, David 'Sylvester the Cat' Cameron had astounded pundits by suggesting the situation is so bad that Britain may soon need an IMF bailout.
"Thith government ith borrowing too much," the Tory leader lisped, when asked about the prospect of a rescue. "It'th one of the largetht budget defithitsth in the world - I have been warning the prime minithter about thith."
Analysts caution that a return to Looney Tunes antics in Westminster will make it almost impossible to decipher what's truly going on in the economy.
They recommend ignoring everything all politicians say, instead turning to experts such as Howard Archer of IHS Global Insight, who recently predicted that UK GDP will contract by 2.9 per cent in 2009. He added that declines are expected to occur across all four quarters.
"This would be the sharpest contraction since the Second World War," Mr Archer glumly noted in a company press release. "Furthermore, we see GDP only flat overall in 2010 as recovery develops very gradually."