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Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the president of Iran, is a Jew

Oy! You spend your whole life trying to distance yourself from the Jewish faith. You give speech after speech calling for the abolition of that cursed Zionist state. You truly aspire to be the best anti-Semite you can be.

And then what? Some putz – some schmuck journalist with a long-lens camera – reveals to the whole world your shameful Jewish past. Oy gavalt! Oy vez mear! What shanda befalls your name, Mahmoud, you shlimazel?

A dramatisation, perhaps. But rest assured that sentiments not entirely dissimilar to those will be frantically running through the Iranian president's mind today, as he wakes up to media reports that he, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the notorious Jew-hater, the guy who called for Israel to be wiped of the map – wait for it, you ready? – yes, he is a bona fide Jew.

The astonishing revelation has been unearthed by hacks from The Telegraph, who after analysing a close-up of the Iranian president's identity card learnt that his former surname was Sabourjian – a name recognised by the Ministry of the Interior as exclusively used by Iranian Jews.

Pro-Israel lobby: Obama supports 'ethnic cleansing'

President Obama has come under fire from a hardline
pro-Israel group in America which is accusing him of supporting "ethnic cleansing" of Jews.

The Israel Project, which includes 20 members of Congress on its advisory board, issued a confidential report in January outlining how supporters can influence US public opinion during the new Obama term.

Marked "not for distribution or publication," the document tells activists that anyone who opposes settlement expansion on Palestinian land should be told they are supporting "ethnic cleansing to remove all Jews".

Oy vey! 90% of Palestinians 'have Jewish heritage'

It's just about the last thing either side of the Middle East conflict wants to hear – that Palestinian Arabs have Jewish blood pumping through their veins.

With Arabs and Israelis spending the best part of the previous century trying to wipe each other of the map, it is not surprising that little time has been devoted to investigating their common ancestral ties.

But Tsvi Misinai has made it his life's work to explore the genealogical ties between the two historic enemies. And speaking to The Jerusalem Post this week, he revealed some startling details about their shared heritage.

What mercy for Lockerbie victims?

As evidence of trade deals with Colonel Gaddafi emerge, Britain releases a Libyan mass murderer from jail on "compassionate grounds". But who gave mercy to the victims of Flight 103?

The release of Abdel Baset al Megrahi, the man responsible for the murder of 270 civilians in Lockerbie in 1988, is directly linked to oil negotiations with former British Prime Minister Tony Blair.

That's according to Seif al Islam, the son of the Libyan leader, who told state television that the "liberation" of the mass murderer – who is terminally ill with prostate cancer – was a direct consequence of top-level trade deals between his father and the former Labour Party administration.

Britain vehemently denied suggestions of a quid quo pro deal with Libya, insisting the release was handled solely by the devolved Scottish parliament. But with mass murderer al Megrahi receiving a hero's welcome in Tripoli, what mercy is there for the families torn apart by the atrocity?

Communism: When you can't afford to wipe your ass

Cubans were left sitting uncomfortably this week after news that the Caribbean island is suffering from a chronic shortage of toilet paper.

As is standard practice in the communist country, the price of 24 essential goods was artificially lowered recently to protect the spending power of ordinary citizens – long reeling from the dire economic situation.

But now state-run radio has unexpectedly declared that Cuba's supplies of toilet paper will run out before the end of the year, with levels of demand "presenting problems" and cashflow issues prohibiting new imports.

The myth of the Islamification of Europe

An alarming Youtube video that has received more than ten million views is stirring up anxieties about the Islamification of Europe, but as this report shows much of its data appears to have been fabricated.

Muslim Demographics makes some unsettling predictions about Europe's future, including that the continent will have an Islamic majority in a few decades. It bases its forecast on declining indigenous fertility rates, offset against the alleged Muslim average of 8.1 children per family.

"In a matter of years, Europe as we know it will cease to exist," an ominous sounding American speaker declares on the seven-and-a-half minute long Youtube hit, talking over Terminator-style doomsday beats.

Tearing down the wall, in Baghdad

The concrete blast walls that for years defined Baghdad's landscape and softened the almost daily thud of indiscriminate suicide bombings are to be torn down, Iraqi military sources confirmed today.

Major General Qassim al-Moussawi, the spokesman for the city's operations command centre, announced that every single one of the symbolically charged shock-absorbers will be dismantled within 40 days - restoring the character of the historic capital but also leaving it open to attack.

While his words stirred up anxiety among Baghdadis, supporters of the plan say it is a necessary first step towards normalcy in a city that since 2003 has been paralysed by an unrelenting wave of terrorism.

Netanyahu piles on rhetoric in address to Arab world

Major policy speech peppered with overtures - but no change in tune over historic stumbling blocks.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has delivered an impassioned speech to the Arab world, calling for negotiations to resume but insisting that several key issues of contention are not open for debate.

Setting aside the pugnacious language for which he is better known, the Likud leader told heads of state from across the region: "I am willing to meet with you any time, any place - in Damascus, in Riyadh, in Beirut."

Mr Netanyahu also tentatively suggested, for the first time, that Israel would accept Palestinian statehood. But he angered officials in Ramallah by attaching a raft of audacious prerequisites to the new pledge.

Israel: Settlement expansion 'no obstacle to peace'

Middle East peace hopes were dealt a blow on Saturday when Israel's strategic affairs minister, Moshe Ya'alon, openly rebuffed calls by US president Barack Obama to stop expanding settlements.

Mr Ya'alon, who is a former chief of staff of the Israeli Defense Forces, told Channel 2 News that "settlement construction will not be halted," insisting: "They were never an obstacle [to peace], not at any stage."

His comments come just days after President Obama held high-profile talks with Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu at the White House, where he sought to revivie the faltering 2003 road-map.

Can America tweet its way to victory in Iraq?

In a country still wracked by daily terror attacks, you might think that technological wizardry would be the least of Iraq's concerns.

Not so, however, according to a growing number of influential policymakers including none other than Iraqi president Jalal Talabani. Today, he sat down to discuss how social media could help end his country’s conflict.

Under the auspices of the US State Department, the ambitious meeting saw senior executives from Twitter, Google and YouTube flown into Baghdad for a tête-à-tête with Iraq’s most senior politicians.